I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
