dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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