i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize