i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
