Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You made out with two different species that night
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
