People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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