the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Randomize
