That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
