what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
