Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
