Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
