Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
