this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Randomize
