The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
