why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
