They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
