Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
