Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
it was like eating out sand paper
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
