And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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