I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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