I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
