i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
