there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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