The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
