then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
