Buhtt sex?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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