Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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