I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
