Pregnant stripper...not hot.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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