You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
