you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
