The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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