Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
