I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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