I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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