I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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