I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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