you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
