dude i'm inner monologue high
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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