well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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