in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
