Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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