This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
