i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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