ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
