My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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