I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
