I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
