thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
