Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
