Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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