Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
