Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
