these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
