I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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