she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize