i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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