I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
