Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
