Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
