As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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