In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
